The very last thing the majority of us will do at the end of each year is make a Resolution.  And the very first thing most of us will do in the New Year is go ahead and break it!

Propelled into action by the waves of optimism generated by friends, family and the abundance of ‘New Year, New You’ articles, too many of us quickly find our enthusiasm waning by the second week of January. With many psychologists now telling us that New Year Resolutions are ‘doomed to failure’, it’s not surprising that some of us will be wondering whether there’s any point in even bothering.

In fact, a study by Richard Wisemen from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail, despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning.

But what is it that actually holds us back from being successful?  After all, we’re not stupid people. The majority of us have experienced success at some point or another  – be it gaining a promotion, achievements in the classroom or on the sports field and creating homes and families - so we know we’re perfectly capable of making a go of things. 

Why exactly is it that when it comes to ‘that time of year’, most of us set targets only to fall spectacularly quickly at the first hurdle? Here are the top reasons why Resolutions fail:

You forget what your Resolution is.

Seriously!  Test yourself if you don’t believe me.  Can you really remember all the resolutions that you made last year?  And not only the ‘lose weight/get fit/learn a foreign language’ ones you told your family about but also those quiet, private ones you made to yourself.  What did you tell yourself, honestly?  What commitments did you make?

Most of us make our Resolutions in a last minute hurry on December 31st, in a drunken embrace just before the clock strikes midnight.  It doesn’t seem to matter whether we promise to climb Mount Everest; take up charity work; seek out old friends; start baking or put finances in order. Come the end of January we’ll be scratching our heads trying to remember what it was we wanted to achieve. So take the time to write everything down in a special notebook and refer to it on a daily basis.

Your resolutions are far too vague.

Vague resolutions such as “I want to get fit”, “I want to see the world and travel” or “I want to take up a new hobby” make it harder for you to get started.  What exactly are you hoping to achieve and where are you supposed to begin?  You see, the longer you take to get started, the less likely you are to start at all.  As soon as there’s a whiff of failure, you’ll quickly push the idea to the back of your mind, because let’s face it, no-one likes to be reminded of their shortcomings.

Be very specific about what it is you’re aiming for.  So, if you want to lose weight, then exactly how much do you want to lose and by when?  Is there a specific reason for losing weight?  Be sure to include all this information:

“I want to lose a stone in weight and be a size 12 in time for my summer holiday in July”.

“I want to travel to the Far East next September visiting Thailand and Vietnam.

You fail to consider the ‘how’ part.

Having decided on a Resolution, most people fail to think about the kind of resources they’ll need to achieve their goal.  Do this first.  Identify all the resources you’ll need in advance  - what will you need to get you started and what will you need further down the line? Have you ever done this before?  Is there more than one way to achieve this outcome? Which way will be best for you?  What’s your first step going to be?  And then the next? 

And if you don’t know, simply ASK.  Do some research on the internet, consult a professional, phone a friend or even better, find someone who has already achieved what you’re aiming for and pick their brains.

You rely on willpower alone.

Willpower can get us started, but it’s not enough to carry us through. Life is busy, and when we feel stressed or tired, it’s all too easy to slip back into familiar patterns. Relying solely on motivation without putting supportive systems in place can make it hard to stay on track. Create habits that support your goals. For example, put your trainers by the door the night before a workout or prep healthy snacks for the week ahead. Little adjustments to your environment can make a big difference and help you stay consistent.

You self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage?  No…. surely not.  Why would any of us want to do that?

Many of us self-sabotage our goals because we suddenly find that we don’t truly want to achieve them.  Quite simply, we made the wrong choice and this is especially true of New Year resolutions that are made on the spur of the moment with a lack of planning. Take the time to consider your resolutions – will a successful outcome actually fit in with your life and personal values?  Is your resolution meaningful for you?  Think carefully about how your goal will impact others around you. Would you really want that promotion if it meant travelling away from home for weeks at a time and being separated from your loved ones?

Thinking carefully about whether you stand to lose anything in your life as a result of achieving this goal by asking yourself questions such as “When don’t I want this outcome?” will help you to set appropriate boundaries for yourself.

About the Author

Alicia Eaton is a Harley Street based Psychotherapist specialising in helping both adults and children with behaviour change and emotional wellbeing. She is also the author of four best-selling books and a Winner in the ‘Global Health & Pharma’ Mental Health Awards 2023 and 2024. For more details of appointments see here: Consultations.